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| Taken from: https://www.teachthought.com/technology/20-ways-to-provide-effective-feedback-for-learning/ |
Article #1: Presence, Not Praise
Article #2: Try Feedforward instead of Feedback
http://www.marshallgoldsmith.com/articles/try-feedforward-instead-feedback/
My thoughts: I personally feel good about giving positive useful feedback. I have always been gifted in being confident about seeing positive traits in others. Only recently have I been learning the skill of also giving "hard to hear" feedback. I now realize both types of feedback are useful and can be used for good, no matter how uncomfortable they may be. I'm learning to embrace uncomfortableness. I could not have related to these articles more. There were many good points in these articles that spoke closely to my heart, but mainly the one in "Presence, Not Praise" about how self-esteem is most boosted for the parent and/or adult figure praising the child rather the child him/herself. I remember growing up and feeling my parents took a lot of credit for who I was or what I did, especially if in our culture it held great value or worth. Any musical, play, choir concert, track meet, academic award or leadership role was bragged about and praised above a lot of other things in my life. What about the great friends I had found and chosen? What about the daily grind of homework and the times I held a friend while she cried? I struggled finding value in relationships because my "praise" had come from events and short-term performances. This helped me later on to start complimenting and praising others in the little things, because being real, those are the things that are really the building blocks of life. In the "Try Feed Forward instead of Feedback", I really would recommend the advice that you can change something about the future, you can't change something about the past. I believe the past can spur one on into a better future, but dwelling heavily on the past often brings guilt and shame. Feed Forward is a wonderful 11-step tool to use because it lightens the possibilities of improvement positively and effectively. I would really like to try the last of the "Feed Forward" tries, listen without trying to come up with a response in my mind. I feel thought I love to listen, my natural reaction is to listen while 10% of my brain is coming up with a reply after this person is done talking. How would my relationships change if I learned to listen fully and in all genuineness? I am excited to make this a goal and journal through it.
Hey Marla! Your'e right about the feedback that you want to give sometimes being awkward so I do think articles like these are helpful in the sense of trying to learn the skill of giving feedback in a way that will inspire people rather than getting them down! I agree that little praise does a great job of building people up in the long run as well!
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