Project Feedback

Taken from: https://www.teachthought.com/technology/20-ways-to-provide-effective-feedback-for-learning/

Article #1: Presence, Not Praise

https://www.brainpickings.org/2013/05/23/stephen-grosz-examined-life/

Article #2: Try Feedforward instead of Feedback

http://www.marshallgoldsmith.com/articles/try-feedforward-instead-feedback/

My thoughts: I personally feel good about giving positive useful feedback. I have always been gifted in being confident about seeing positive traits in others. Only recently have I been learning the skill of also giving "hard to hear" feedback. I now realize both types of feedback are useful and can be used for good, no matter how uncomfortable they may be. I'm learning to embrace uncomfortableness. I could not have related to these articles more. There were many good points in these articles that spoke closely to my heart, but mainly the one in "Presence, Not Praise" about how self-esteem is most boosted for the parent and/or adult figure praising the child rather the child him/herself. I remember growing up and feeling my parents took a lot of credit for who I was or what I did, especially if in our culture it held great value or worth. Any musical, play, choir concert, track meet, academic award or leadership role was bragged about and praised above a lot of other things in my life. What about the great friends I had found and chosen? What about the daily grind of homework and the times I held a friend while she cried? I struggled finding value in relationships because my "praise" had come from events and short-term performances. This helped me later on to start complimenting and praising others in the little things, because being real, those are the things that are really the building blocks of life. In the "Try Feed Forward instead of Feedback", I really would recommend the advice that you can change something about the future, you can't change something about the past. I believe the past can spur one on into a better future, but dwelling heavily on the past often brings guilt and shame. Feed Forward is a wonderful 11-step tool to use because it lightens the possibilities of improvement positively and effectively. I would really like to try the last of the "Feed Forward" tries, listen without trying to come up with a response in my mind. I feel thought I love to listen, my natural reaction is to listen while 10% of my brain is coming up with a reply after this person is done talking. How would my relationships change if I learned to listen fully and in all genuineness? I am excited to make this a goal and journal through it.

Feedback Thoughts

Deconstructing Constructive Feedback

https://www.inc.com/amy-morin/6-bad-mental-habits-that-sabotage-your-success.html

1) 6 Bad Mental Habits That Sabotage Your Success
The bad habits for this article were making excuses, catastrophes the future, seeks audience approval, believes self-doubts, puts oneself down and second-guesses oneself. I think for this one I most tend to struggle with seeking audience approval. I tend to be a people-pleaser, which slides right into my need for perfection. This can create a disaster for comparison, essentially robbing me of my joy that was there for success in the first place. My need for approval has been something I have recently discovered in my life, and I'm excited to use these tactics to ultimately get it out and fill it will the opposite--not needing the approval of others. 

https://www.forbes.com/sites/meganbruneau/2016/07/15/5-tips-for-receiving-feedback-like-a-champ/#74c8df6c1899

2) 5 Tips for Taking Feedback Like a Champ
"Realize that feeling uncomfortable is healthy, normal, and part of the growth process — this includes the discomfort we feel when we receive feedback:" For me, this speaks volumes. I think my whole life has been a series of "how comfortable can I get?" Once I reached out of that, I embraced uncomfortableness and went after  it. I can definitely say now when I receive feedback, I am more willing to stand firm and receive if it is beneficial. Whether it may be hard or not, I want to be able to filter rather than choosing flight and running away.

"Remind yourself that having growth areas is a good thing— it means you haven't maxed out on your potential: " Growth, growth, growth. It is one of my favorite things and choices about life. We get to CHOOSE to grow. I am pumped about this ability and how growing enables a healthy feedback intake. 

"Keep in mind 'state" vs. "trait:'" They could not have said it better. I want to be able to say "Okay, this is for right now" rather than "this statement defines who I am". 

"Find the positive intentions behind your deficiency, and notice where it's a strength:" I enjoy seeing the positive. Obviously, it is not always possible but I want to believe there is a positive in most situations and criticism. I want to also take it an extra step and see if the constructive feedback is true of my strengths, and if it is, press into that.

"Use mindfulness and self-compassion to react in a productive way:" I believe it begins with a choice, will I choose to react productively or not? I get to choose. I believe being aware of my own needs and passions is important when receiving feedback.